Loving life with Jesus

  Lungs too heavy to breath, heart racing, hands shaking, all while you mind is racing with the thoughts, "When will this ever end?" Stomach turning, body sweating, "What is wrong with my body? Am I going to die? I can't catch a breath....I can't breath." Anxiety, panic attacks...unfortunately a normal part of a lot of people's everyday lives, but it does not have to have the power to take control of your life and tell you, you are messed up because your body reacts the way it does. It can a part of you without being you. I have always been a person who thinks too much and when you add that with stress it does not mix well. I started getting anxiety in elementary school because of bullying and stress and I have had it ever since. I got my first four panic attacks this past year and the first time I had it, I thought I was going to die. Knowing what to expect, now helps me to recognize it quicker and deal with it so it does not get out of control. But r...

  Hurt, a word we can easily give power to, to define who we are. When we are hurt by someone, especially if they are close to us, it can leave scars on our hearts and wound us to the point where we don't think we will ever be able to heal from it. At one point in my life, I thought it would be impossible to ever trust people again, because I was afraid to let myself get hurt one more time. I thought my heart was far gone from being mended and I would never feel normal again. Allowing the hurt to consume yourself, making yourself feel like you are sitting in the dark all alone, will just hurt you even further to the point of suicidal thoughts. If we sit with the hurt too long, we can allow it to creep into every part of our lives and define us for who we are. Once it starts to define us, we believe all the lies we have been told and that the hurt we have experienced is who we are and we will never be without it and should just accept it and live with it weighing us down each and ...

  And just like that another year has gone by in a blink of an eye. Though this year has definitely been one for the books. Last year, on December 31 st at 11:59pm everyone was gathered with their families and friends ready to welcome the new year of 2020 and celebrated when that hand turned to 12:00am. Little did we know that we were celebrating for a year that would make history. No one knew what was going to happen or that we would be living in a world wide pandemic. I bet most people are cheering for 2021 because it means we get to leave this past year behind us and this year was one many would not like to remember. This pandemic has taken a lot from me and everyone around the world. This past year was suppose to be the year I would finish my senior year, have a graduation, and so many more things that we were unable to do because of the world we live in right now. Even though I am so excited for this new year, this past year has not been all bad. Instead of looking only to t...