Nicaragua and Mexico - the end of a chapter

Two months felt like two weeks, and before I knew it, I was back in Canada, living the rich life again. What am I suppose to do now? Go forwards and leave everyone and everything I saw behind? Because I can not, what I had seen and experienced changed my life, and my heart is so full of joy but also filled with sorrow that I had to leave these people behind in those conditions, while I get to go back and live comfortably again. 

I have been back for four months already, and it was a hard adjustment back, and I felt like I could not put the right words down on paper about the last leg of the trip, until now. The last two weeks in Nicaragua were full of sight seeing, building deeper connections with the people there, and soaking in everything we could before we had to say goodbye and drive away, not knowing if we would ever see them again. I did not think I would become so attached to the people there when I could not even speak to them without a translator, but I did, and seeing them break down in tears when we left made it even worse. As much as I was ready to leave behind all the gross tarantulas, bats, and scorpions we had living in our house, constantly feeling out of place, and having a lot of health issue since the beginning of the trip, I was not ready to say goodbye to the amazing people I met, and the beautiful country I got to explore. 

After the five weeks in Nicaragua, we met up in LA with a team from the Youth Farm Bible Camp to go into Tijuana, Mexico and built a house by hand for a family in need. It was easier to go into this part of the trip because the poverty was normality to me at this point and I did not have to adjust to seeing it and being immersed into it. But what was a challenge, was the weather, and trying to sleep in tents when it rains and storms for two days, flooding you out. It was cold and miserable, and all I wanted to do was go home. But I believe the reason God allowed this to happen was to humble me. After the week was over of building the house, I had an escape and the ability to go home, and sleep in a dry and warm house. But those people in Mexico, had no escape, and what I had to sleep in for a week was just a little taste of what their everyday life is like. It was another reminder of how lucky I am and how selfish I really can be sometimes even though I have so many riches, both materialistic and in Jesus.

Sometimes I wonder what the point is of meeting new people and forming deep connections, when in the end you have to hurt yourself and say goodbye. The more people you have close to your heart, the more times you will get hurt or will have to say the dreaded goodbyes. I feel like my heart can not handle being torn apart anymore, and sometimes I am so tempted to avoid anything or anyone that will cause that to happen again. But God created us to be in community, and as much as I don't want to admit that, I am realizing how important it is to form deep connections with people. People change you, and can impact you just as much as you do for them, and even though it hurt to leave Nicaragua and Mexico behind, I would never change a thing, because I experienced God more than ever and got to be a part of some amazing people's lives, who changed me and showed me a piece of God I have not seen before. I got to be the hope in those families lives, and become a glimpse of Jesus to them which is so rich and is something that can never be taken from them no matter how poor they become!